Do you have a “to-don’t" list?

Your to-do list is a mile long.

But what about your “to-don’t” list?

What’s a “to-don’t” list?

Well, I’m so happy you asked.

It’s a list (real or metaphorical) of the stuff you’re deciding not to do.

Why do you need this list at all?

Because we often just accept things onto our to-do list, whether they are worthy of our time or not.
And because sometimes things stay on your list when they’re no longer relevant.
Sometimes these are things that just won’t move the needle enough to be worthy of your precious time
Sometimes its things that someone else could be doing
Sometimes it’s all those pesky “shoulds”

Look, I know you don’t want to hear this. But you’re never going to finish that to-do list.

And there’s no shame in this.

It’s just a reality of life.

There will always be more stuff to do than there is time to do.

More stuff you want to do than you can do.

You and I and everyone else could work 18 hours a day for the rest of our lives and there would still be more to do the next day.

How you spend your time is a choice.

And inherent in choice is trade offs.

So, I’m here to relieve you of the notion that because you’re not finishing your to-do list every day that there’s something wrong with you.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

You might just need a little time adjusting to the reality of life.

The reality that you’re not going to do it all. (And neither am I!)

And, the logical next step to realizing you’re not going to do it all is agency and choice.

If you’re not going to do it all, what ARE you going to do?

And what AREN’T you going to do?

That’s your “to-don’t list”.

And I want you to be just as proud of the stuff that goes on your to-don’t list, and the stuff you cross of your to-do list.

Both lists reflect choice, agency and the autonomy to live your own life, according to your own goals and values.

And, for that, you should be proud.