What to Do When you Go From “Regular Busy” to “Crazy Busy”
Photo by Tara Winstead: https://www.pexels.com/photo/sticky-notes-on-a-laptop-8386754/
Have you ever felt like you just can’t get a break? Life just keeps piling on?
Yeah?
Well, me too. And I’m in one of those VERY busy seasons of life where lots of things are converging all at once and they all require my time. More of it than I have.
It all came to a head recently when I was trying to schedule something with friends and I looked at our family calendar and realized that there was only one, single weekend day for the rest of 2024 that wasn’t already accounted for.
I knew we were shifting into a busy season, but I didn’t realize it was quite so bad.
So, what’s going on that’s above and beyond “normal busy”:
We have some folks with health issues in our extended family that require a lot of travel and mental energy (yes, I’m definitely, fully, in the “sandwich generation” now)
My 15-year-old joined a travel volleyball league, meaning at least one parent is traveling with him most weekends.
My 13-year-old is applying to high school, which is like a full-time job on its own, replete with essays (yes, essays, that I have to write about him!!). (Yes, ridiculous, but I live in San Francisco, where public school is run on a lottery system and therefore it’s necessary to ensure you have options.)
My 13-year-old also just broke his arm so badly that he needed surgery. So, lots of doctor’s appointments, in addition to the “lots of doctors appointments” that I still have for myself as part of my cancer recovery.
Here’s one thing I know: I can’t just absorb all of that and hope for the best.
It won’t work, and I’ll be super-stressed.
And it’s not OK with me to simply spend all my waking hours doing things that have to be done. It’s important for me (and my mental health!) to be able to have downtime, to relax, etc.
So, I had to get creative about how I’m managing my time and my commitments.
First things first, I defined the period of time I’m dealing with; most of the stuff above will be done by February.
So, I have a 4 month period where I’m going to make some changes to the trade-offs I’m making with my time, and then I’ll reevaluate.
I decided on some non-negotiables:
I’m not going to reduce my sleep (as that will make everything else that much harder)
I’m not going to give up hobbies (although I will reduce time spent on them)
I’m not going to stop exercising
But, I do need to make some cuts. So, here’s what I’m doing:
Reducing commitment:
While I love having people over for dinner and BBQs, they’re a lot of work, so I’m taking a hiatus from hosting those types of events as well.
I’m reducing my expectations of exercise for myself; while my goal is to exercise 6 days a week, I’m going to reduce that to 3 times a week.
While I like to go to the pottery studio several times a week, I will reduce this to twice a week.
I likely won’t take on any new knitting/crocheting projects.
Sharing the load:
For one of my book clubs, I usually host/cook. But I asked for help; I said that I can’t take on all the hosting at the moment, and others were happy to step in.
For my son’s volleyball tournaments, my husband and I split up all the weekends and calendared is, so our time outlays are roughly equal.
Does it suck to have to make these trade-offs?
Well, yeah, it’s not my favorite.
But it feels so much better to intentionally make these temporary changes than to rush around pretending like somehow I can get it all done, and then feeling bad about myself when I can’t.
So, 3 questions for you:
What signs help you notice when you’re entering a particularly busy season?
What are your non-negotiables, even when things get wildly busy?
And what intentional trade-offs can you make to ensure that you don’t burn out?