Are you expecting instant results? (be honest)

Photo by Ali Alcántara

You have unrealistic expectations of yourself.

Yes, you.  (Ok, maybe not you, but probably you.)

How do I know?

Well I work with A LOT of people who are trying to improve their relationship to time, the stress levels, their time management skills, their productivity skills, their ability to do more of what they want and less of what they don’t.

And this involves habit change.

Habit change is hard.

And I’ve never met someone who is thrilled with how quickly they were able to acquire these new skills.

Usually, it takes a bit longer than you want it to.

It’s harder than you want it to be.

You’ve decided you want to make change and you want it now!

You try, and it doesn’t go perfectly right away.

You try again, and it goes a little bit better.

And so on, and so on.

And, even though you’re improving, the pace doesn’t feel that good.

Because you want it to go faster.

And if this resonates with you, even a little bit, I want to give you an analogy that I think might help put things in perspective.

Let me ask you a question:

Let’s say you’re a person who hasn’t been in a gym for years…or ever.

And now you decide you’d like to get stronger.

You’d like to start lifting weights.

And lets say that the first time you enter the gym, the most you’re able to do is bench press the barbell.

No weights, just the barbell. 

That’s what you’ve got in you when you’re trying your hardest

(And there’s NO shame in that!  At all.  Heck, you got yourself to the gym and you got started. So go ahead and congratulate yourself right now.)

That’s your starting point.

Now, the next time you go to the gym, what would you expect of yourself?

Would you expect that somehow, miraculously, you’re gonna be able to bench press 200 lbs?

No, you wouldn’t.

Why would you?

That’s absurd.

You know it and I know it.

But that’s EXACTLY what you’re asking of yourself when you try to, say, start using a task system and expect yourself to be using it perfectly, consistently, within a week.

Or you start planning, and things don’t go perfectly according to plan, right off the bat.

Or you start time blocking, but you don’t follow it exactly, right from the get-go.

Look, this is the expected result when you’re new at something.

It would be a miracle if you were able to go from newbie to expert in a week or two.

Just like it would be a miracle if you could go from barbell-only to 200 lbs in a week or two.

Because it takes practice.

Just like lifting weights.

To make progress, you need to put in the reps.

And, in fact, there’s no other way.

That’s the only way it works.

So, here’s my message to you:

Stop beating yourself up because the hard thing you’re trying to do takes practice and time.

That’s the way it’s supposed to work.

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re doing it right.

So keep going, and you’ll be exactly where you want to be.

Just maybe not tomorrow.

And I’ll share one more thing. 

A harsh truth.

If you don’t start, you’ll never make there.

The only way to get there is to do the work.

To keep on practicing, adjusting and learning as you go.

You can do it.

You can do anything.

But you might need to cultivate a little patience along the way.