How To Use Bright Line Rules To Stop Overindulging Without Feeling Restricted
Photo by Tamanna Rumee
Have you heard of the dichotomy of moderators and abstainers?
If not, here’s the TL/DR, and if so, scroll past these bullets to the rest of the article:
So, abstainers are people who generally find it easier to not partake in something at all, than to do it in moderation.
While moderators are people who typically find it easier to have or do a little of something, than to restrict themselves altogether.
So, for instance, if you’re someone who, say, is trying to, say, stop scrolling so much TikTok (who, me??), an abstainer would find it easier to simply remove TikTok from the menu of options. Delete the account. Delete the app.
But if you’re a moderator, you might find it too restrictive to take it away entirely, and instead you might find it easier to limit yourself; perhaps using ScreenTime, or the OneSec app to be more mindful of the time you’re spending.
But moderation can actually be hard. It can be a slippery slope.
And abstaining can feel too restrictive; even if it “works”, it might not work forever, and one slip up can send you into “why bother” mode.
I find that there’s actually a middle ground, that can be quite helpful, and it’s concept of “bright line” rules.
A bright line rule is simply a rule you give yourself so that you don’t have to make decisions in the moment (when you might be at your weakest, lacking willpower, low on reserves).
A bright-line rule helps to reduce decision fatigue because you’re only deciding once.
Bright-line rules can help you to moderate, without relying on willpower.
Let me give you a couple examples of bright line rules I have for myself:
TikTok
I wasn’t joking; it’s a vice of mine.
I’ve never found any other social media app very compelling. Facebook, whatever. Instagram, who cares. But TikTok has a hold on me.
And because I actually really love it, but I know it’s not good for me to spend a lot of time there, I have a bright-line rule for myself: I only open Tiktok on weekend evenings.
And because I have this rule, it supports good habits for myself (i.e., I don’t stay up too late on weeknights, robbing myself of sleep, and I don’t worry about wasting time during the day).
Alcohol
While I was never a lush, when I was younger I probably drank more than I should have.
And while I’ll never be a teetotaler, I wanted some clear guidelines for myself, to make it easy to moderate a bit more.
So, many years ago, I just made a bright line rule:
I don’t drink any alcohol Monday through Thursday (unless I’m out with friends, which, as a mother with a full-time job running this business, doesn’t happen all that often Monday through Thursday).
Now, your bright line rules might be different than mine; I’ve heard all sorts.
One person told me that were trying to eat less sugar, so they only ate dessert if it was at a restaurant. Now, of course, this doesn’t work as well if you often eat out, but if you don’t then it makes sense and is an enjoyable treat.
Some people put bright line rules around their time off: For instance, you only check email until 7pm.
A favorite from a friend of mine: She never misses 2 days of exercise in a row. One day missed? No problem. The next day, she’s back at it.